2020 vision

It’s almost New Year’s Day, and although I’ve given up trying to set New Years resolutions I still like to reflect about the past, the future.

There’s a buzz about 2020, the start of a new decade. Astrology and numerology suggest that it’s a year of big change and the turning point for growth and success for the collective. Big things are going to happen and I believe it.

20/20 is also the number for optometrists when measuring clarity. That’s the ultimate goal isn’t it, having amazingly clear vision. And using that divine vision to push through with big dreams through tenacity and work.

I’ve been really interested in tarot readings recently, especially general free ones on YouTube and learnt so much spiritually and about my self also.

It’s given me a push into trusting God, the universe, spirits, angels, archangels and all the higher powers and so far I’ve seen such a change for the better.

I know I’m guided by higher powers for the interests of myself and for all people on this planet and in this lifetime and the next. The big picture is a lot bigger than I realise. It’s a lot bigger than us humans. It’s indescribable. But I can feel it.

But still there’s some part of me that isn’t letting go of fears. Especially to do with my art. My creativity. What I have to offer. I enjoy a bit of control but it’s killing my creativity. I like who I am now, but I still feel like I’m blocked.

As I go into the new year I want to look, even deeper and trust even harder than ever before and not give up on my dreams. The time is now. This year WILL be a year of fortune success. If I don’t act now I may lose all the hard work I’ve put into myself throughout 2019. And that would be a shame, cos I’ve got all this gold dust sprinkled all in my blood and soul waiting to be released and infused into the world, into the universe.

Don’t give up, girl. Your time is coming very, very soon.

The universe and all the higher powers have your back. So turn around.

And see the magic happen.

Entering motherhood: reality vs expectation

Little man will be 17th months in 8 days.

Almost 17 months gone by since entering motherhood.

And over 17 months since I last made a blog on this post.

……

I think that says a lot to me.

There’s so much I want to write about and a lot of things I’ve had to learn and embrace that I would love to channel that into some sort of creative project whether it’s a book, or a collection of paintings or illustrations. Or even podcast or dare I say it a Youtube videos? This choices are endless and most of the things have been said before. But not by me.

I will state some more facts just for context as of now:

I’m currently living in North London. With my toddler son. His dad and I have separated. The sun is now shining. It’s Leo season.

I’ve had some time to reflect on things, especially with a CBT therapist. And also because I’m that personality type that likes to reflect and think and feel. There’s so much.

There’s no doubt motherhood changes you. Life changes you. Whether is a beautiful energetic little human or life situations. But out of the many, many, many things I’ve learnt by choice or by life circumstance is that there is an inner strength to me. A new version of me that I haven’t really come across whether that’s the mum role or the Meron role. There’s a certain courage and truth that comes to me. Because whether I life it or not, I’ve got power now. And with great power comes great responsibility, as the saying goes. Time is such a luxury even more than ever. It’s learning what choices and thoughts and emotions and decision I put into time because of the power.

m=p+n/t.

If you want a formula. Meron or anyone else for that matter (m)=power (p) + choices (n) divided (/) by the time (t) we have on this earth.

Anyways. That’s a little simplistic but you know what I mean. Right? I usually don’t reflect on life this way so only god and the universe knows why I’ve decided this way for now. It’s fun.

My focus now is, what do I do now? I keep making blogs – definitely. About everything. But what do I do with all this ongoing experience packed into 18moths? hmmmm. Formula? Lol. Hmmm probably not. Errrr God/universe/higher power, can you help me out here?
seaside

Photo of me and little man at the seaside. Why not?